


gay hell™

by fornoire



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Characters are kinda ooc, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Everyone Is Gay, Gavin Reed Swears, Hank Anderson Swears, Humor, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Memes, Other, Swearing, Texting, Tumblr Memes, Vines, but they just make it work, connor just want everyone to become buddies, could do better but ¯|_(ツ)_|¯, has anyone done this for dbh?? probably idk, its dbh what do ya'll expect, love my wholesome vines, mostly those two yeah, rk line has a super weird dynamic, roasting sessions here we come, thats it thats the fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-12 03:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15986771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fornoire/pseuds/fornoire
Summary: liccyboi has created group chat“gay hell™”liccyboihas addedFUCKBEERto the chatliccyboihas addedangerythotto the chatliccyboihas addedrgay900to the chatliccyboihas addedandroidfuckerto the chatFUCKBEER:connorFUCKBEER:what in the actual fuckFUCKBEER:are you doingFUCKBEER:REALLY? FUCKBEER?





	1. welcome to gay hell

**Author's Note:**

> Seen some text fics thought i'd make one uhhh yeah  
> Enjoy the (shit) show :)
> 
>  
> 
> Future apologies the word thot is used alot is this chat
> 
>  
> 
> My fic, my rules baby
> 
>  
> 
> [actually] edited: 9/15/18

**liccyboi has created group chat**

**“gay hell _™_ ”**

**_liccyboi_ ** _has added **FUCKBEER** to the chat_

 **_liccyboi_ ** _has added **angerythot** to the chat_

 **_liccyboi_ ** _has added **rgay900** to the chat_

 **_liccyboi_ ** _has added **androidfucker** to the chat_

**liccyboi:** hi, welcome to gay hell

 **liccyboi:** no refunds

 **FUCKBEER:** connor

 **FUCKBEER:** what in the actual fuck

 **FUCKBEER:** are you doing

 **FUCKBEER:** REALLY? FUCKBEER?

 **liccyboi:** Sorry Hank…thought it’d be entertaining knowing you prefer other beverages than H2O

 **liccyboi:** As for the others and I they seem pretty accurate

 **liccyboi:** You know how much l o v e to licking things other than evidence

 **FUCKBEER:** what???

 **liccyboi:** LICK LICK LICK LICK

 **liccyboi:** I WANNA EAT YO DICK

 **FUCKBEER:** CONNOR WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

 **FUCKBEER:** DON’T TELL ME CYBERBITCH REPLACED ANOTHER COPY-

 **liccyboi:** no, it’s called deviancy what else is it?????? sQUARE UP

 **androidfucker:** i just arrived

 **androidfucker:** o o o f a s c i n a t i n g

 **androidfucker:** deviants have such goading minds

 **FUCKBEER:** who invited the android inventing pervert

 **liccyboi:** I did I who else lol

 **FUCKBEER:** you got some damn virus adding that prick in here

 **androidfucker:** EXCUSE ME i’m right here y’know

 **FUCKBEER:** no shit sherlock

 **FUCKBEER:** do god a favor **@androidfucker** and stop breathing

 **androidfucker:** wOAH

 **androidfucker:** tbh i worry for my safety

 **angerythot:** OKAY FUCKERS ITS LITERALLY 2AM

 **angerythot:** I DIDN’T EVEN CONSENT TO ANY OF THIS GOODBYE

 

 

 **_angerythot_ ** _has left chat_

 **_liccyboi_ ** _has added **angerythot** to the chat_

 **_angerythot_ ** _has left chat_

 **_liccyboi_ ** _has added **angerythot** to the chat_

 **_angerythot_ ** _has left chat_

 **_liccyboi_ ** _has added **angerythot** to the chat_

 

 

 **angerythot:** OHHHH MY GOD CAN YOU FUCKIN STOP YOU PLASTIC ASS

 **FUCKBEER:** WATCH IT JIZZ FACE

 **angerythot: @FUCKBEER** TRY ME WRINKLE DICK

 **rgay900:** The amount of capitals used concerns me…

 **angerythot:** whatever point is when did robocop even get my fUCKin number

 **FUCKBEER:** chill out asshole

 **rgay900:** Agreed. I believe you’re taking this farther than its mean to be.

 **liccyboi:** Hey Nines!!

 **rgay900:** Hello Connor.

 **androidfucker:** first off, **@rgay900** you are no longer my child

 **androidfucker:** don’t talk to me if you punctuate periods at the end of your sentences its fucked up

 **liccyboi:** s n a p p e d

 **FUCKBEER:** thanks

 **FUCKBEER:** shit nearly gives me PTSD from fucking my English classes in hs

 **FUCKBEER:** Mrs. Miller was a BITCH

 **liccyboi:** Awww Hank :(

 **rgay900:** My apologies Mr. Kamski

 **androidfucker:** ahhh so obedient

 **angerythot:** UHHHH HELLO EARTH TO DIPSHITS

 **liccyboi:** somebody is holding up to their title *cough* thot *cough*

 **angerythot:** i ain’t no thot you f u c k

 **liccyboi:** You kinda are though

 **angerythot:** YOU WANNA GO SLUT MCGEE

 **FUCKBEER:** call him a slut again and i’ll chop your dick off

 **angerythot:** what are you fuckin’ gay?

 **FUCKBEER:**  well some of us are dumbass

 **liccyboi:** ^

 **androidfucker:** ^^

 **rgay900:** ^^^

 **angerythot:** hahahHAHHA SO FUNNY THINKING YOU’RE COMEDY

 **angerythot:** back me up on this nines

 **rgay900:** No thanks THOT

 **rgay900:** …

 **rgay900:** That felt oddly satisfying

 **liccyboi:** OOF NINEESSSS

 **FUCKBEER:** nice

 **androidfucker:** bounced

 **angerythot:** i loved you you plastic shit guess not all androids are perfectly made

 **rgay900:** And you don’t see me trying to impress anyone   

 **angerythot:** HUH????? WTF DOES THAT MEAN?????

 **rgay900:** Don’t humans have ears or are you as blind as your looks

 **androidfucker:** corked

 **FUCKBEER:** now i’m starting to like this chat

 **rgay900:** It was experience pulling up with your bullshit I wish you luck in finding someone who can do the same

 **rgay900:** As human may say; Once A Thot Always A Thot :)

 

 

 **_rgay900_** _has left the chat_

 

 **liccyboi:** OM-

 **liccyboi:** 911 I’VE JUST WITNESSED A MURDER

 **liccyboi:** COLDBLOODED NO MERCY

 **androidfucker:** HE’S BEEN SHOT IN THE KNEES, HEART AND HEAD

 **androidfucker:** the smiley face tOO ASJKKLFFGHKGL

 **FUCKBEER:** LORD HE EVEN LEFT THE CHAT

 **FUCKBEER:** MY LUNGS

 **angerythot:** i hate all of you choke on some fat dick and die

 

 

 **_angerythot_ ** _has left the chat_

 

 

 **FUCKBEER:** Pussy

 **androidfucker:** i assure he didn’t expect a death THEN kicked off the ocean so fast

 **liccyboi:** Dw Detective Reed will be fine

 **liccyboi:** They’ll probably have make-up sex anyways

 **FUCKBEER:** OK you didn’t need to tell the whole universe Con

 **androidfucker:** if you’re talking sex **@liccyboi** you can contact me whenever you’d like

 **androidfucker:** daddy can make them systems go haywire ;)

 **androidfucker:** what do you say baby boy??

 

 

 **_androidfucker_ ** _has been removed from the chat_

 **_androidfucker_ ** _has been temporarily banned from the chat_

 

 **liccyboi:** …

 **FUCKBEER:** …

 **FUCKBEER:** every day we stray further from god


	2. it's time to stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically rk line going berserk jumping from topic to topic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys who commented or kudo'd! Means a lot :)  
> this chap mostly with the RK's (Markus, Connor & Nines)
> 
> What can I say? Just droids being dudes  
>  
> 
> warning: memes + very ooc [cancerous] behavior ahead beware
> 
>  
> 
> bonus: i added pics bc why not. hopefully you guys see em' comment if ya can't i'll try and fix

{ _Moderator: **toughnsoft**_ }

 **_toughnsoft_ ** _, **chickennugget** , **bundleofdeviancy**_

[ **group chat** ]

**“rk crack den”**

**chickennugget:** hello my fellow brethren

 **chickennugget:** quite an amount time has passed since our last encounter

 **bundleofdeviancy:** Markus please

 **bundleofdeviancy:** You may be the main icon for android freedom but you don’t need to talk like you’re the second coming

 **chickennugget:** i’m hurt already

 **chickennugget:** as i was saying

 **toughnsoft:** I tag along Connor’s point

 **chickennugget:** now you two are just EVIL

 **chickennugget:** i didn’t come here for verbal abuse

**chickennugget:**

**bundleofdeviancy:** OOF

 **bundleofdeviancy:** I’m sorry please Markus pleeaaseee forgive me *cries in italian* ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

 **chickennugget:** damnit connor

 **chickennugget:** as a taken man even i can’t reject such a doe eyed android through text

 **toughnsoft:** F

 **toughnsoft:** The subject is too relatable

 

 **_toughnsoft_ ** _has changed **bundleofdeviancy** to **cinnamonroll**_

****

**cinnamonroll:** guys!! stoopppp (｡￫ˇ艸￩)

 **toughnsoft:** Request denied

 **toughnsoft:** But may I ask; What are those emoticons you are using

 **cinnamonroll:** Those? They’re called Kaomojis UwU

 **chickennugget:** i’m beginning to believe he’s more human than me

 **toughnsoft:** Isn’t that somewhat uncanny? 

 **cinnamonroll:** Listen here Sis Kaomojis are very cute fite me

 **cinnamonroll:** 1v1 McDonald’s parking lot (૭ ఠ ^ ఠ)૭

 **toughnsoft:** Statistics obviously show my chances of winning are significantly higher

 **chickennugget:** yikes

 **cinnamonroll:** NINES DON’T FUCKING JOHNNY TEST ME (╬⓪益⓪)

 **toughnsoft:** FINE SFHFDIHUG

 **toughnsoft:** If these “Kaomojis” do bring you joy then I suppose you can continue to, help, your nurturing emotions

 **cinnamonroll:** thanks lil bro~ (❁´◡`❁)

 **chickennugget:** swear this baby faced SPICY cinnamon is a bipolar pop socket

 **chickennugget:** and speaking of hELP

 **chickennugget:** your fam needs some because *cough cough* that’s why i came back to chat unfortunately i n t e r r u p t e d

 **cinnamonroll:** ∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃)!! why didn’t you say so before?

 **cinnamonroll:** What kind of advice you need? ( •⌄• ू )✧

 **toughnsoft:** In that case I’ll grant my assistance too if it may conclude to your needs

 **chickennugget:** unbelievable

 **chickennugget:** you’re both more devotionally “advanced” than me yet you get off track easily

 **chickennugget:** primarily Connor but still…//sigh// nevermind-

 **toughnsoft:** I shall confirm nor deny any information above

 **cinnamonroll:** Ditto

 **chickennugget:** yeah yeah, besides my actual point’s being…me and simon…got into a fight and i’m not sure how to make it up to him

 **cinnamonroll:** Awww Marky (◞ ‸ ◟ㆀ)

 **toughnsoft:** sounds mildly tragic

 **chickennugget:** it IS tragic

 **chickennugget:** no one should feel content knowing your loved one is stressed or upset because of you

 **chickennugget:** hnnnuh, do i take him to dinner, buy him a gift, make love??? it’s difficult making decisions at times

 **toughnsoft:** How did this conflict even begin with is the first question

 **cinnamonroll:** Yeah! Evaluating the situation main cause can give hints on what to do next

 **cinnamonroll:** Spill the tea hon ( ๑‾̀◡‾́)σ»

 **chickennugget:** ………

 **toughnsoft:** Ellipses x3 = Scandalous

 **cinnamonroll:** Dear me, is it because of North??

 **chickennugget:** …no

 **chickennugget:** Simon bested me in Mario Kart

**toughnsoft:**

****

**cinnamonroll:** OM– THAT’S EVEN WORSE (ｙﾟ 益ﾟ;)ｙ

 **cinnamonroll:** HOW DO YOU HAVE BEEF OVER A GAME щ(ಥдಥщ)

 **chickennugget:** CUZ HE FUCKING CHEATED THAT’S WHY

 **chickennugget:** YA’LL DON’T REALIZE HOW BULLSHIT THE ENTIRE SITUATION WAS

 **chickennugget:** ME, FIRST PLACE, LAP THREE, ‘BOUT TO WIN

 **chickennugget:** BUT NOOOOOO HE JUST H A D TO PULL A BLUE SHELL OUT OF HIS ASS LAST SECOND

 **cinnamonroll:** Can’t believe you, he one and only Markus Manfred, the REPRESENTATIVE OF ANDROIDS is mad over a racing match

 **toughnsoft:** Mood ^

 **chickennugget:** sorry guys…just made me SO mad i worked hella hard to win

 **chickennugget:** the pain :'(

 **cinnamonroll:** Simple Markus

 **cinnamonroll:** Stop it

 **toughnsoft:** Get some help

**chickennugget:**

****

**chickennugget:** Connor stop teaching him vines

 **chickennugget:** I’M ASKING FOR ADVICE WHEN SHALL I RECEIVE

 **toughnsoft:** Let’s face it there’s a 99.99999% chance no one gives a shit

 **toughnsoft:** Fucking pansy

 **cinnamonroll:** oh boy here we go（￣ー￣；）

 **cinnamonroll:** Nines 1 – Markus 0

 **chickennugget:** haha we’re good Connor

 **chickennugget:** Nines obviously shows the pinnacle belief on how the RK900 are reversing the evolution of android freedom

 **chickennugget:** roblox wannabe  lookin’ ass roomba

 **cinnamonroll:** ROBLOX

 **cinnamonroll:** MY VOCALS ARE MALFUNCTIONING

 **cinnamonroll:** Nines 1 – Markus 1

 **cinnamonroll:** Granted if we’re talking shit now I gotta confess **@chickennugget** looks like a freAKING CLUB PENGUIN AVATAR

 **toughnsoft:** EXPLAIN HOW I CAN VISUALIZE THAT SO WELL

 **chickennugget:** tsk tsk to think i was going to invite you to a plaza party that will be hosted as part of a celebration on the android’s rights movement

 **cinnamonroll:** GAHDJE I LIKE PARTIES

 **cinnamonroll:** I’M SO SORRY PLS FORGIVE ME  ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

 **chickennugget:** joking Connor :) i can’t stay mad at you i know how much you enjoy the company of dogs

 **chickennugget:** only other android i’m weak for other than Simon

 **cinnamonroll:** Yayyy~ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ﾉ

 **toughnsoft:** Once again, it’s impossible to keep a grudge against him plus, canines are rather adorable

 **toughnsoft:** Yet felines are WAY superior

 **toughnsoft:** They make my thirium pump go *doki doki*

 **chickennugget:** ra9 why

 **cinnamonroll:** **ξ(** **✿** **❛‿❛** **)ξ** /̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿  Delete this or Imma delete myself

 **toughnsoft:** ???

 **chickennugget:** where did you learn that nines

 **toughnsoft:** Learn what? Both of you are being complex

 **chickennugget:** the term “doki doki”

 **toughnsoft:** In cruel honesty

 **toughnsoft:** My journey began when I surfed over Gavin’s porn history

 **cinnamonroll:** YOU BETTER STOP

 **cinnamonroll:** STOP BITCH STOP

 **cinnamonroll:** A H H H H H H

**cinnamonroll:**

****

**toughnsoft:** And the search “Hentai” came to view

 **chickennugget:** THIS IS A CHRISTIAN SERVER

 **chickennugget:** I’M SUING CYBERLIFE RN

 **toughnsoft:** There were images of females being penetrated intensely by multiple phalluses

 **toughnsoft:** Even the play of tentacles up their vaginal areas

 **chickennugget:** i’m no longer associating with you call yourself demonetized

 **cinnamonroll:** I’M CRYING IN THE CLUB (*꒦ິ⌓꒦ີ)

 **cinnamonroll:** MARKUS KICK HIM OUT BEFORE I LOSE IT HEARING ANOTHER INTENSE TOPIC

 **chickennugget:** give me a moment

 **chickennugget:** waIT hOL UP

 **chickennugget:** CONNOR-

 **chickennugget:** HE’S THE GC M O D WE CAN’T DO JACK

 **cinnamonroll:** FUUUUUU（　(≪●≫)　）Д（　(≪●≫)　）

 **toughnsoft:** The visuals seemed…slightly intriguing

 **toughnsoft:** Japanese porn culture seems very alluring

**cinnamonroll:**

****

**chickennugget:** okay great Ted Talk gotta blast

 **cinnamonroll:** bye

 **cinnamonroll:** 1 2 3 4 out the door

**cinnamonroll:**

****

 

 **_cinnamonroll_ ** _and **chickennugget** has left chat_

 **_toughnsoft_ ** _has added **cinnamonroll** and **chickennugget** to the chat_

[ **toughnsoft** has disabled ‘leave room’ option]

 

 **chickennugget:** what did you d o

 **toughnsoft:** You will suffer what Gavin experienced

 **toughnsoft:** Anyone who enters cannot risk leaving unless given permission by me

 **cinnamonroll:** hacker

 **chickennugget:** my sins have caught onto me tell Simon i loved him

 **cinnamonroll:** Goodness why can’t we like the Jonas Brothers

 **cinnamonroll:** They always stick together through thick and thin

 **toughnsoft:** Absurd the band had broken up long ago

 **toughnsoft:** …Ah

 **chickennugget:** you may have to retract that statement

 **cinnamonroll:** I despise this lineage

 

 

[ **private chat]**

 **_hotsiri_ ** _and **northpole**_

 

 **hotsiri:** North help

 **northpole:** Shit, what’s wrong?

 **hotsiri:** Markus and Nines

 **northpole:** Calm down Connor

 **northpole:** Don’t wanna panic at the disco

**hotsiri:**

****

**hotsiri:** Blocked

 

 

 

 

 **northpole:** Didn't you teach me that?

 

_Block northpole?_

[Yes] or [No]

 

[ **Yes** ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Using caps is my first language. 
> 
> But an't it making each chapter worse and worse-

**Author's Note:**

> Give me a sec while I cancel myself for making trash.


End file.
